Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

I am not going to waste your time with statistics because I don’t need them. Men are dropping out of marriage, leaving a generation of young women without prospects. You may not hear men enunciate these views (on a daily basis) but the ramifications can be found all around us. I am not going to focus on the consequences (of low birth rate) to our socio-economic structure (which demands multiple new workers to support one retiree), but instead to the modern female.

Out of the gate, there are more females (than males) born in the West. This means that some women will not be able to find a spouse, assuming a hetero-monogamous paradigm. This is not disastrous, considering that some women are lesbians, take vow of celibacy, or dedicate their lives to charity (or something altruistic in nature). Despite all the efforts of the feminist movement, unmarried women (outside of specific categories) will likely be questioned (for their choice not to marry), especially as they advance in years. However, this is not the case for men, since bachelorhood has reached the pinnacle of social acceptability.

Referring back to my title, I want to clarify what females (generally) mean by a “good man,” and what it means that “there aren’t any available.” Despite what people might say, everyone is intrinsically selfish and acts in their best interest. This includes all areas of the human experience, even the decision to be a parent. Consider this hypothetically situation. You are propositioned by a nice couple, and they eventually discourse that they are barren due to medical issues. They ask you to conceive a child (with your wife), and hand over the child immediately after it’s born. That’s not it. They ask you to pay monthly payments, until the child is born. They also want you to do all of the grunt work (cleaning, changing diapers, and staying up late), in addition to filling in whenever they need a break. In return, the child with call the “other parents” “mom and dad”, and take on their last name. In essence, you will get not joy from this arrangement, in any shape or form. Why not accept?

Regardless of what the feminist lobby has tried to persuade you, most women still want the same thing as their grandmothers. They want a strong man, someone that people respect, both in social and professional circles. They want a good provider, someone they can rely on so that they (and their children) will want for nothing. They want a physically capable man, someone who can defend them and chop wood (perhaps at the same time). No woman wants to marry a loser, because it reflects poorly on them. All their friends (and family) will assume, this is the best she can get.

Of course, not all women will be fortunate enough to get all (if any) of these traits in a husband. Their chances are a reflection of their attractiveness, and to a lesser degree their personality. To assume that both genders seek (and value) the same traits in a partner is crazy, if not altogether delusional. We are all dealt a different hand, and the smart (among us) will play it to our advantage. Others will cry (and scream), blaming society for not catering to them. Even though they think they are winning the battle, they are really losing the war since they are using their time in an irresponsible manner.

Things really started to change after the Second World War, with the paradigm shifting so dramatically that it compromised the family unit as we know it. As a result of progressive social currents, women became less dependent on men (for their subsistence), relying more and more on personal wages and the welfare state. As such, men became a luxury instead of a necessity. This was reflected in both media and female opinion. Conservative religious groups rejected these changes, some becoming more fundamentalist in response. However,greater society become less religious (on average) which eroded the traditionalmantra of “putting others before yourself” and the need to protect “the sanctityof the family”.

Like buying a car, the decision to have a family is an economic decision. As rational actors, we weight the benefits against the cost, and subsequently make an informed choice. For generations, the benefits (for men) have been clear and attractive. Married life brought companionship, sex-on-demand, social mobility, respect, children, and the ability to be the leader of one’s household. In exchange he offered financial resources, fidelity, protection, and leadership. Of course, each offering consisted of many sacrifices. For example, protection meant putting down one’s life if the situated warranted. Financial resources meant hours working in dangerous situations, hour after hour, year after year.

Despite the negative connotation surrounding the word, human males require sex to function, much as they need food or drink. The drive is so primal than men will often compromise their own interests in pursuit of it. Think of how many politicians will risk their reputation (and career) to have an affair. In past generations, premarital sex was only available though prostitution. If one was found to have a premarital affair, they may have risked death or (at minimum) reprimand from their community. As such, many young men agreed to marry simply to satisfy their sexual cravings. Of course, this is not the case today as one can find sex freely and consistently. As well, all the other benefits can be achieved outside of marriage, deflating its appeal as positive male endeavor.

The previous paragraph summarizes the erosion of the positive male benefits (of marriage) but there are direct consequences that need to be discussed.  If your wife “falls out of love” or finds a “better” man, she can easily leave you and take everything you own. Furthermore, you can be expected to pay both child support and alimony, to provide your cheating wife with the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. In other words, not only is there no benefit to remaining faithful, there is a system in place to encourage your spouse to leave you! If this was a new thing then I can understand male ignorance, and their hope that things will return to the way they were before. However, this is the second (or third) generation, and many have seen their fathers abused both by their mothers and the courts. They have seen males portrayed as buffoons in the media, ridiculed as horny donkeys, only acceptable if under the control of an authoritarian female.

The fact is that (most) modern women want to benefits of the past, with the current benefits of feminist modernity. They want to be a princess (in her $100,000 wedding) but she wants to call all the shots and be the leader of the household. She wants her husband to remain faithful, but for him to excuse her cheating on a vacation with her girlfriends. The modern woman is college educated, armed with a liberal arts degree and a laundry list of opinions. If men reject her, it is due to their shallow nature, and their incapability to understand “true beauty”. She will make double his salary while at the same time expect him to pay for all their dates. She wants to be treated as a virgin, even though she has had more sexual partners than she has (combined) fingers and toes.

So, where are all the men? They haven’t gone anywhere. Some have decided to find foreign partners, untouched by feminism. Some have become religious, finding women who share strong family values. Some have become players, trying to bed a new woman every night. Some are praying by their bed, hoping for a women that will love them for what they are, without trying to change them. However, some have generally lost interest. It has never been a better time to be a man. With the advent of the internet, sex has never been more plentiful and available. If even you are going to have a traditional family, one can enjoy common law marriage and enjoy all the benefits and rewards bestowed on married couples. 

On a final note, I want to pose a question. If you come across a 50- year old single woman (at a coffee stop or somewhere similar) should you feel bad for her? I truly wonder if this is what the feminist sages had in mind.  

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